a teen Every lie carefully woven to hide the truth, it is usually an attempt to cover prohibited acts, and sometimes even dangerous.
Recently, a study by the Josephson Institute of Ethics in America, based in Los Angeles showed that 80 percent of high school students surveyed admitted to lying to their parents about something significant "in the last year.
In fact, according to Javier Lopez, coordinator of counseling UDEM 7 out of 10 kids who drink or smoke, lie to their parents about it.
In adolescence is very common that young people do not control their impulses, make your wellbeing in mind things temporarily and then lied about it, explains Cristina Kennington, founder and director of the Preventive Psychology Counseling Center.
"When parents confront you about something bad they did, the adolescent begins to take lie because sometimes you do not know why he did it, "says psychotherapist.
And most young people lie without measuring the risks they are exposed.
However, the lie can also be willful and in those cases is often related to evasion of punishment.
Examples of this type are lies like "I parked and saw collided who was" or "I do not drink or smoke."
"This does not mean that all offenders are , but can be interpreted as a conscious desire to break the rules, "says Kennington.
Another type of lie is the fantasy that seeks to deceive others and even themselves to increase self-esteem.
stop them
To avoid punishment, fear or just to get away with it, many teens, either instinctively or with premeditation, hatched a lie.
When a lie is successful, the guy usually returns to it, so you better stop it in time to prevent cheating will result in an abuse of alcohol consumption, poor grades, bullying or sex early .
"A lie is maintained, at any age until I discovered, and you will create the habit of lying to the extent that you succeed in your lies," says school psychologist and therapist Marina Pérez.
"If you discover your child on time, you will remove the custom. Detecting time is precisely to prevent a major problem."
Many teenagers lying on the bottom expect their parents to discover.
"We realize at that age that we are doing wrong, but you can stop by peer pressure, or whatever, and you need someone to rescue you," says adolescent sexuality educator also.
Discovering your child, you must confront, not to pass the time thinking it was a small lie.
"The confrontation, rather than a nagging situation because you lied, you have to be focused on what is the disadvantage of lying and you finally going to know as Dad. "
The first school
Although parents do not like hearing it, is at home where values \u200b\u200bsuch as honesty are learned, and the school only serves to strengthened.
"Everything is stock you have to have before the age of 8 to stay firm and clear that there are things you learn later," says Perez, "and although it hurts, education in values \u200b\u200bis part of the house because that is what the child is forever. "
If you avoid answering the phone to send your child to say you're not, he is witness to your lies.
" We're teaching you can lie, and the problem is that certain age when they can not tell a lie and when not. "
Teaching
always tell the truth can be as easy as learning a few words.
" automatically as taught to say 'thank you' and 'please', which at first do not know why or what, then already is established and becomes a habit, "Perez recommended.
To inculcate a large value, you must go minimal representation, ie, stealing a weight is the same as stealing 100: you are stealing, a little lie is the same as a mentirota: You're lying.
Therefore, basic phone a parent can give their child to avoid the lie is clear: to play fair and be natural is the best way to gain acceptance of others.
The 3 most common lies
Experts discuss the reasons behind the most common scams: 1
"I do not drink or smoke"
75 percent of teens who use alcohol or snuff them lie their parents about it, says Javier López, coordinator of counseling UDEM.
"These substances are linked to the adult stage, then many times the teen wants to experience that stage and do it in the defects in the forbidden," he says.
Young, although they know it's wrong, hide the intake to avoid the reprimand, because they feel they are mature enough to make their decisions.
In these cases, parents should not react with screams, but calmly to establish trust to motivate young people to respect the limits.
2
"What school? Everything's OK"
Lying about qualifications is something that young teens can do to avoid punishment or, if the relationship with their parents nearby, not to disappoint.
If there is no trust, to go to college the problem may worsen.
"The young man who has come a long lying point denying reality, and even lies to himself, "says psychotherapist Cristina Kennington, director of the Preventive Psychology Counseling Center.
" Some young people even spend the money their parents sent them for college and brag to their friends about how well they will not consider, "said Carlos Leal, a psychologist with expertise in child and adolescent psychotherapy.
3
" I go home of a friend "
The crisis of insecurity, it is normal for parents demonstrate fearful about the night life of their children, however, prohibit the outputs is not the solution.
When the young man feels trapped or pressured tends to lie about the places they frequent, and gives the typical "I'm a friend's house," said Lopez of the University of Monterrey.
Thus, without even being aware, kids prevent their parents to protect, for ignoring its location unknown whether children are at risk or not. Children
honest
training specialists provide suggestions to form the value in children:
- Be honest with them: It is important to teach by example.
- Respect Your Privacy: There are things that a teenager or young man did not want to share with their parents, not all the secrets it holds are dangerous.
- Do not lose your cool: When your son (s) tells you something disturbing, listen and talk calmly. Save for later cries, probably your child is already anxious or worried and do not want to scare you even more.
- Do not let him lie to others: If you do not want to lie, it is important to show them that it is wrong to lie to others as well.
- Be discreet: Trust is something very difficult to achieve and easy to lose. If your child (a) is about to talk to you, avoid commenting on what your friends you have. NORTH
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